Thirty Items or Less

Sometimes in the business of returning things, especially without a receipt, it seems like there should be a limit of items. One particular day, I had one customer try to return 21 items that were "gifts". Maybe laundry detergent would be a good house warming gift if I believed his story that he just moved to town. One problem with that: he had a local driver's license, and those usually take months to get to people. Of the 20 items, one was not from our store. Later that day, a guy tried to return 27 DVDS and 2 video games. He had a receipt, but no idea which movies were on there. Anyway, I found four of the movies on there, and because he couldn't produce a driver's license, I told him I'd walk him to the door with all of the 25 things he couldn't return. He asked me, "What does that mean? Walk me to the door?"

A couple of days later, there was a woman returning several things with a receipt, and a couple things without any receipts. Before she walked up, there was someone returning a giant musical/video game with a recent receipt and a system that was obviously older. So, somebody from that department had made her way to the Customer Service Counter and was carefully comparing the new game with the one those wandering customers were returning. So, the woman who had come behind them suddenly became very agitated and impatient. She told us I shouldn't have started to help her if I couldn't focus soley on her. From that point on, I continued with her return, but I felt no need to offer any friendliness or patience with her. I curtly told her, I'll need your driver's license for the items you are returning without a receipt. The first thing she had to sign, she thanked me for the money she got back, but I said nothing. The second time she thanked me I repsponded, "You're welcome" without thanking her like I usually do. When someone is impatient and unfriendly it really warms my heart. I feel so forturnate to have met this person, and I feel that it is no coincidence that I was the one who got to help this customer. I want to get all corny and tell the person that I don't make friends easily, but I hope this person will come back and see me soon to return another thirty items or so.

A Rare Occurence

The last night I worked, a woman was complaining to me, and saying that the policies I was following (copyright laws) were stupid. She was yelling at me, and stormed off in a huff. I said to some bystanders, "Well, I did make the copyright laws myself!" About fifteen minutes later, the phone rang, and I was still the only one there. I answered and the woman asked if she'd talked to me earlier about a cd. I asked if she meant in person. She said that's what she meant. Well, then she apologized to me for being rude. I really appreciated this and told her nobody had ever done this at work. She explained she'd thought about it and realized I was just following policy. I responded, "Well, I could have called a manager over to talk to you." She didn't even think I'd handled that wrong. So, anyway, I thanked her for the rare apology.

Customer Quotes

"Are you a supervisor? Get me your supervisor!' ( yelled by Customer A, who didn't get what he wanted)
"That's not my job!" (response fromCustomer B, who didn't want to follow the store's exchange/return policies)
"Can you hurry this up?" (Customer C says while she's texting)
"Thank you SO much." (Customer C says in a very condescending fashion)
"Very impolite!" (mutters Customer C when nobody says "You're Welcome" or anything else in response to her "thank-you")

No Comment

Sometimes a customer will ask me something personal. Depending on the overall vibes I am picking up from the person, I will decide how to answer or dodge the question. Today, a customer asked me my clothing size. She said, "What size do you wear?" Then, she guessed a size. First of all, I didn't know what article of clothing she was asking about, since everything is sized uniquely. I mean did she want my shirt size, my pant size, my dress size, what? I don't ever wear dresses, so I am not really sure you could say I have a dress size. Anyway, not wanting to tell her any size of clothing I wear, I decided to tell her my height and weight, even though this seemed personal too. She misunderstood my weight, and so then I had to say it again. All the while, I'm wondering why she needs to know any of this.

When I answer the phone at work, a lot of times I will answer a question, and then the person will ask my name. I don't know why exactly, but this is very annoying to me. I think there have been times I've called businesses with questions, and I get the person's name, as though this authenticates what the person has told me.

I guess when I get asked my own name, it just feels like that person is going to hold me personally to anything I say on the phone. Plus, a person might misquote me, and then I will get in trouble for telling someone something that I didn't even say. So, anyway, I don't like saying my name. I want to say something clever with an accent like, "This Penelope. Penelope Cruz. But, I am not the actress Penelope Cruz, I just think I talk like her. However, I am not sure I have ever even heard her speak. My full name is Penelope Cruz Mountain, because I am married to Mr. Mountain. His name is Juan Big Mountain." I mean, I guess I'm saying I want to ramble and be silly, though I know that is not what the person is expecting.

Uuaully, if someone has called with a question, it's when there are other people to help who are standing there in the flesh and in person. But, if things are going very slowly, usually the telephone won't ring either. So, if I answer the phone, I could say my name, I could say the name of someone else who would be answering the phone at customer service,or, finally, I could make up a name, and then be stuck with trying to spell it.

Wow! What Service!

The other morning I was out running errands. If you know me, you are now rereading that last sentence to see if you got it right. Yes, I was out of my house before noon! Anyway, I very hungry, so I went to get something to eat.

Well, next thing you know, I was ordering vegetarian fare, as usual. Then, when the very friendly gal asked me if I wanted a drink, I couldn't decide. It was as though this was the most monumental decision of my life. I finally said I'd take a small drink.

Then, after I paid the total, I was thinking my little run to a fast food place didn't cost that much. When I looked at my receipt, I realized I hadn't been charged for the small drink. Then, I wondered if she'd somehow given me a water cup, but realized they are different colors there.

So, I happily got my drink, and then told a couple of people how I'd taken such a long time to decide if I wanted a drink, that I got a free one. Everyone was really happy for me. If that isn't enough happiness for you, after I thanked her for the drink, the woman was still smiling and cheery when she gave me my food.